Stocktaking 2026 - Part One - The PLAN

Over the years I have attempted to organize and take stock of all the miniatures I have. Sometimes it's to help plan future painting initiatives. I do like having statistics - all the information - when trying to make decisions. Or, just as often, it's been a desperate attempt to shame myself into NOT BUYING MORE STUFF!? 

Most recently, about a year ago, I spent a few days just looking through all the drawers of miniatures - mostly the ancients, through medieval and renaissance collections. I took some pictures and shared some of the thoughts I was having at the time about reducing some of those collections (which I have yet to do... but that may be coming - sooner rather than later!). I'd planned to do similar some of the other collections... but then didn't. Partly because I worried that sort of looking through MORE boxes and thinking about them too much might either A) get me COMPLETELY distracted from what I was trying to do... or B) get me really depressed... Either way, I kind of just didn't get to it!? you can read about that here:

Thinking About Things... Making Plans...

The most thorough attempt at stock taking was done TEN YEARS AGO (which also happened to be after ten years of blogging!). I mostly just counted the 28mm miniatures - ignoring ignoring all other scales. In the final accounting I found myself to be in possession of 18,908 28mm foot figures, 1011 mounted, 63 guns or other artillery (catapults and the like), and 175 vehicles or big beasties. Overall about 51% of the collection, at that time, was painted (in calculating percent complete I weighted cavalry as being worth two foot and vehicles being worth 5) – breaking that down, I found there to be 10,221 painted 28mm foot (54% complete), 381 mounted (38%), 32 guns (51%), and 48 vehicles (27%). 

You can read ALL of the stats and further breakdowns of what collections were the most painted here:

Stocktaking 2016

Now that I find myself approaching TWENTY YEARS of blogging, I thought it might be time to do it again - a rather thorough accounting of ALL THE MINIS!! (or, at the very least, ALL THE 28mm MINIS!!) 

(I had, in 2021, tried to so something similar to the 2016 Stocktaking, but everything was STILL in a state of chaos and spread out in boxes all over the house - fallout from multiple home renovations over the previous years... which continued for a few more years... including THIS YEAR!? I didn't get to it, but you can read about the thoughts I was having at the time here: Stocktaking 2021 - there are no stats as the post was more about WANTING to do a thorough stocktaking and planning how to do that...) 

Recently, I did a brief calculation (when I was filling out the 14th Annual Great Wargaming Survey!) to determine a rough estimate of the numbers of total miniatures owned versus number of miniatures painted. I took that 2016 stats and added the number of acquisitions to the Grand Totals and added the minis painted each year to the number of miniatures I'd had painted at the time of the 2016 Stocktaking... and I figured I roughly 29,078 28mm foot miniatures (and 1250 mounted) of which 12,926 28mm foot (and 482 mounted!) were painted (around 44% of the miniatures I own)! Which leaves about 17,000 miniatures, unpainted, foot and mounted (and this isn't even counting vehicles... or larger monsters... OR ANY of the stuff in other scales...!?) 

(I do still have a BUNCH of modern stuff in 20mm/1:72 plastic and PILES of "Epic" 40K miniatures and some 6mm moderns and NOW some 10mm stuff!?)

It was also at this time I decided to the large stock-taking to see where everything is at! It felt like a good year to do it, as I haven't been acquiring a lot of new things and don't really have PLANS to acquire much more. Still... I was thinking the ACTUAL stocktaking should happen at the very end of the year, so I have an accurate picture of where things were at, at the END of 2026 - then, going forward, I can just look at the stats I keep through the year (every year) of miniatures painted versus miniatures acquired, to quickly get a sense of exactly where things are at! 

For a while I though maybe I could do it in chunks, as there are collections I was unlikely to touch between now and the end of the year - unless looking through them all and counting them and thinking about them and considering what to do with them completely derails whatever plans I currently have and inspires me to work on... whatever it is I'm supposed to be counting and leaving alone!? Because I AM that SPECIAL KIND OF STUPID!? 

But then September happened and I got completely overwhelmed by school and at this point have realized I'm just NOT going to get to any of that until classes are over and portfolios submitted (11 December 2026)... I WILL still have a Philosophy final after that (I think it's on the very last day of finals around the 22nd or 23rd) but after the 11th I can get started on the counting and cataloguing of miniatures. 

There will be a fair bit of work involved, not just because I have SO MUCH STUFF... but because, as in 2021, there is STILL stuff spread put all over the house! There WAS a PLAN, when I started thinking about this in the summer - that Amanda and I had been discussing - to sort through ALL THE BOXES through the summer and into the fall after the last of the renovations wrapped up... and when that was done, counting might have been a bit easier! But none of that has really happened... yet (though maybe THAT will be happening in December along side all the accounting).

Currently the majority of my collection is housed in these storage drawers in the Game Room, in the basement...  The drawers contain both painted and unpainted miniatures. As miniatures came into the house I have generally prepped and assembled and primed and based all miniatures and then stored them in the drawers that would be their permanent home - partly so I keep in mind that I have them and to NOT go buying more than I can easily store!

These drawers, however, are pretty much at capacity! If I want to acquire new miniatures, I'm kind of going to have to start getting rid or some. Or sort out some other kind of storage solution! 

Some larger things are stored in the display cabinet... 

Other things, that are too tall for the regular drawers, but too numerous to go in the display cabinet, I've started storing on other shelves in the Game Room in clear plastic boxes. (there are loads more on this shelving unit, lower down, but they are currently obscured by boxes of stuff that had to be taken out of the closet under the stairs for the most recent renovation to happen... and they haven't found their way back into the closet!)

A significant portion of the collection is on or clustered around my painting station on the second floor... 

Or on this folding table that was set up a few months back to facilitate oganizing and boxing up of some miniatures that were all over the place... but has kind of become a semi-permanent fixture in the room taking up WAY TOO MUCH space!? 

Still more are collected into boxes on shelves nearby my painting station (the "on-deck" boxes of things I'd ideally like to work on soon... or, at least, sooner than any unpainted miniatures being stored in the drawers in the Game Room!)

MORE of the "On-Deck" boxes... 

And STILL MORE are stuffed into storage boxes in one of the storage areas throughout the house (MOST of these boxes are NOT miniatures... a lot of that is Morgan's fabric... but some of them are filled with boxes of older plastic model kits bought for one project or another... others have been moved into the next room which is just too embarrassingly messy to even take a pictures of... like... even messier than what you've seen so far...) 

Most of these boxes in the living room contain books and papers and random other stuff displaced by renovations that haven't been sorted (or discarded) -but probably contain a few small boxes of minis squirrelled away within the bigger boxes 

Considering the drawers in the Game Room are "at capacity" and I have and these boxes and boxes and boxes of stuff haunting the painting station and storage closets and living room... It is fair to say, I am very definitely BEYOND capacity to store what I have and very much need to start disposing of miniatures... never mind that I only have so much time left on this earth... and I'm just not painting 800-1200 miniatures a year (like I did between 2009 and 2015 - the years leading up to the 2016 stocktaking!) 

Since 2020 I've painted between 57 and 438 28mm foot miniatures per year, the average being about 200 per year. Despite painting 438 miniatures in 2025, I feel like Im not likely to paint more than 200-250 per year, going forward. At that rate, it would take me over EIGHTY-FIVE years to paint just the miniatures I currently HAVE!? I don't know that I'm going to make it to 65 myself, let along live another 75 years beyond that - AND KEEP PAINTING 200 miniatures per year!? 

Mind you, that 200 per year average over the last five years is largely based on painting highly detailed, individual fantasy and Sci-fi miniatures from Games Workshop... Last year I painted double that because I started painting historical miniatures again (all those WW2 minis for Bolt Action!). Even so, if I can realistically paint 200 or 400 miniatures per year, I still have FAR TOO MANY - more than I will EVER be able to paint - whether it's 85 years at 200 miniatures per year or just 42.5 years at 400 per year - I can't possibly ever get them all done 

So I don't want to JUST do a count, I really want to assess what I have, what I want to use if for, and what I can REALISTICALLY expect to get done in an average year... and maybe start getting rid of the stuff I can't imagine being able to finish in the next five to ten years... 

But how many is that!? Even if we assume that two-thirds of the miniatures I paint over the next decade are historical miniatures that I can paint at 400 per year and a third of them are Warhammer Miniatures that I can paint 200 per year... That's going to be about 3300 miniatures. If I have 17,000 unpainted miniatures, that would still mean disposing of nearly 14,000...!? How do you even DO that!? (Honestly, how do I even HAVE that many!?).

Maybe this year end count WILL just be a count... and the assessing will come in the new year...? 

In addition to just getting rid of stuff that I'm NEVER EVER going to get around to painting (so Amanda and my kids aren't burdened with having to do that - and end up just pitching it all in the landfill) I feel like maybe it's time to downsize the overall collection - partly because, despite declarations for DECADES suggesting that she did not want to move again EVER and was going to DIE in this house that she keeps renovating (and will NEVER make back the money she's put into it...), earlier this year Amanda had an extended stay on Vancouver Island with a friend that was house-sitting and came back all determined with a new Ten Year Plan to move us all to the island as she retires!? (WTF!?) Anyway... it might be a good idea to start THINKING about reducing the overall collection in case something like that actually happens... But also, again, considering my own mortality, maybe it would be good to get rid of SOME of this stuff BEFORE I'm gone (again, so Amanda and my kids aren't burdened with having to do that themselves - and end up just pitching it all - included FULLY PAINTED COLLECTIONS - into the landfill)

(I probably need to start thinking about doing something similar with the board games at some point...) 

Micro Mini Medieval French

I kind of did a thing... 

Micro Mini Medieval French!?

I'm not entirely sure HOW I even got thinking about this... but I happened to be looking in on Wargames Atlantic last week... I knew they'd made a few fantasy boxes in this 10mm "Grand Battle Scale" and also Samurai and Ashigaru... but I'd not seen the Agincourt boxes before... and somehow I happened to check on AMAZON of all places and found there was ONE box of the French... listed for LESS THAN HALF what Wargames Atlantic was selling them for... with FREE Prime One-Day Shipping?! 

So... obviously... the very next day (Friday), I had a box of "Grand Battle Scale" French for the Hundred Years War!? 

There are a LOT of miniatures in this box... 

Like... a LOT!!!

There are:

• 351 French Knights/Men-at-Arms on Foot
• 108 French Knights/Men-at-Arms Mounted
• 246 Genoese Crossbowmen
• Casualty figures for every troop type including 18 horse casualties

over 700 wee little 10mm infantry and cavalry....

WTF am I going to DO with all of these...? Well, first of all the plan was to put together a Medieval French army for De Bellis Antiquitatis!  

IV/64c Medieval French Army 1401-1445

• 1x General (3Kn/4Bd)
• 1x Rich Nobles on Barded Horses (3Kn)
• 4x Men-at-Arms (3Kn/4Bd) 
• 2x Archers (3Bw) or Pavisiers (Sp)
• 1x Crossbowmen (4Cb) 
• 1x Voulgiers (4Bd) or Scots Men-at-Arms (3Kn/4Bd) 
• 1x Detached "Gross Varlers" (CV) or Bombards (Art) or Scots Archers (Bw)
• 1x Bidet or Breton Javelinmen (Ps) or Peasant Levy (7Hd) 

The General and Rich Nobles and Men-at-Arms are no problem. Same with the Crossbowmen. The Voulgiers or Scots Men-at-Arms is more of the same... 

The tricky bits are the two stands of Archers or Pavisiers and then the single stand of either Detached "Gross Varlers" or Bombards or Scots Archers... at some point I'll probably also pick up the English Army box and that has just piles and piles of archers which I will steal enough of to make the there elements of Archers. At SOME point I'll probably place an order with Pendraken (who makes 10mm metal minis) and get a Bombard of some sort (just to have that artillery option) and a bag of Peasants to make the Levy and maybe some camp followers? 

Seven elements of Knights assuming I put four (or five?!) miniatures on each base will use up 28-35 of the  108 knights/mounted men-at-arms!? I will only need about twelve of the 246 Genoese Crossbowmen included in the box for the French army and about 72 of the 351 French Knights/Men-at-Arms on Foot!? so what else can I put together with this... 

Enemies of the IV/64c Medieval French Army 1401-1445

• IV/13b Medieval German Army 1151-1439
• IV/61 Itallian Condotta 1320-1515
• IV/62b English Army 1334-1414
• IV/62c English Army 1415-1422
• IV/62d English Army 1423-1455
• IV/64c Medieval French Army 1401-1445
• IV/76 Early Burgundian Army 1263-1471
• IV/79a Later Swiss Army 1400-1424
• IV/79b Later Swiss Army 1425-1477

So... maybe make TWO of these French armies...? PLUS the English...? 

I will need to use 12-15 of the extra mounted for the English army as the English box CONTAINS NO MOUNTED KNIGHTS OR MEN-AT-ARMS!? It's just PILES MORE foot men-at-arms and even MORE archers... 

The Knights/Mounted Men-at-Arms will be the limiting factor... If I did only four on a base I could EASILY make at least FOUR (or five!?) armies out of what I've got here!! Two Medieval French armies and a Hundred Years War English army and the maybe a few purely fantastical armies - to use in Hordes of the Things!? and try to use up some of the spare foot from both boxes!?

Over the weekend I thought I'd try and knock a few out to see how they painted up.. 

This first batch I tried painting on the frame... which... was a bit of a pain in the ass... so I might need to figure out something else. 

But eventually I got them all done and based them up. One frame (of eight in the box) got me the three elements of Knights (with only four on each base) and three elements of Blade (with TWELVE foot on each base!?). 

Three elements of Knights (with four minis per base) 

Three elements of Blade - Men-at-Arms on foot

Three casualty markers - I remember these were handy for making battle reports to show exactly where losses took place in a round and not make the reader go back and forth between photos for comparison to work it out on their own! 

I'm kind of torn about leaving the mounted knights as is with just four on the base or if I should rebase and do all the others with FIVE on each base - to make them look a little more densely packed?! I guess maybe I should try doing ONE element like that and see how it looks. If I looks WAY better I might just do that... if it isn't significantly better... I might just leave them as is... because it will give me more standing armies I can build! 

I'm kind of excited to finish up a couple of armies - if I can put together two out of this box... without SOME other elements I won't be able to put together any actual historical De Bellis Antiquitatis armies... but I could get two 12-element "semi-historical" armies together to play some Hordes of the Things to get started! I do miss playing DBA and HotT! I don't even HAVE any Hordes of the Things armies anymore. I rebased ALL of the fantasy armies onto single bases for use with... other skirmish games or Dragon Rampant. 

I am tempted to just go out and buy the English box... and the Dwarf and Orc and two skeleton boxes... AND the Samurai... 

But that would be silly... 

I REALLY need to see if I can get motivated to get two armies painted out of what I got and see if I can get playing again first!? 

October Games

We played games in October... tried to get a fairly regular boardgame night going on Friday evenings... with... some success! Well... for the first few weeks... and then it kind of fell by the wayside as we got busy doing other things... and it was mostly just me and Amanda... BUT THE IDEA WAS THERE!? 

Friday, 2 October 2026

On Thursday I went out the the Dragon's Den Anniversary Sale and picked up a copy of Finspan. On the Friday evening Amanda and I tried it out.  

It has quite a few recognizable mechanics from Wingspan. 

My sea ares at the end of the fourth round... In game end I was able to play the two fishies in the top left. 

I somehow ended up winning this game...? going for those weekly achievements and converting lots of fishies into schools really helped out! 

It's okay. We'll probably end up playing it a bunch over the next few months and if that gets us playing MORE BOARD GAMES, I'll call it a win! 

Thursday, 8 October 2026

Thursday morning I finally got in my next Blood Bowl league game. This absolutely bonkers game was against the Gnomes - the only team in the league doing WORSE than my goblins... you can read all about the insanity here:

Blood Bowl League: Match #5 - Gnarly Gobbos versus Sakura Blossom (Gnomes)

Friday, 9 October 2026

Friday evening Amanda and I tried Finspan again. 

I thought I was doing rather well for myself - scoring more than I had the previous week... 

but then I had a look over at Amanda's bit of the sea... That first game was probably the first and last time I'd win this game, now that Amanda's figured it out! 

Sunday, 11 October 2026

Vera was in town for the Vera was in town for the (Canadian) Thanksgiving weekend, so we got in a second game in our co-op Stargrave campaign. You can read all about the adventure here:

Stargrave - Hope Eternal - Episode Two - The Great Maglev Robbery

and if you want to check out the campaign page, to check up on the latest status of all the crew members and find more background for them and links to game reports of all the other games, you can find that here: 

Stargrave - Hope Eternal Campaign

Friday, 16 October 2026

We had planned board game night with a friend who was going to teach us Root! But then he had to cancel and... I'm not sure what we ended up doing...? I think Amanda decided to stay late at work and I ended up making pizza and then watching a movie with Morgan...? 

Saturday, 17 October 2026

Originally I'd planned to play in the Beast Feast at the Warhammer Store... but had to cancel as I was just NOT going to get our monsters painted in time... 

Instead I arranged another Blood Bowl League game... but then bailed on that when I realized a project I thought wasn't due for another week was actually due on Monday... WE Tried to rearrange for the following Saturday... but the next weekend I was in a panic about my Drawing and Painting portfolios being due on Sunday and Monday... so I bailed.. AGAIN... and just dropped out of the league... my heart just wasn't in it anymore. It's a long story... 

Friday, 23 October 2026

Amanda wasn't available to play this evening because she was performing at the Rosebud Burlesque Club's Peek-a-BOO(!) Halloween show.... I thought I might still play a game... but then didn't get anything arranged and ended up watching half of season one of Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency with Morgan... (The show was two nights, I went on Saturday!) 

Friday, 30 October 2026 

Amanda went away for the weekend to a friends cabin... I thought I might FINALLY try and get in a game of Five Parsecs from Home... but in the end got distracted by... OTHER THINGS!? 

Ah, well... maybe next month...

I did promise the family I'd start running the Warhammer Quest: Cursed City Nemesis campaign on Tuesdays, starting in November! So... stay tuned for THAT... maybe...? 

But also I've been working on things for... a bunch of different stuff... the Five Parsecs from Home: Planetfall campaign... and now, possibly, a Five Leagues from the Borderlands campaign!? (All while I still have a regular Five Parsecs From Home campaign that I started THREE YEARS AGO now and STILL haven't played the second mission!?) 

Stargrave - Hope Eternal - Episode Two - The Great Maglev Robbery

Vera was in town for the (Canadian) Thanksgiving weekend, so we got in a second game in our co-op Stargrave campaign. The second scenario in the Hope Eternal campaign is The Great Maglev Robbery.

In this scenario, the same anonymous patrons from the previous job contacted the crew and hired them to do another job for them. Acting on the data acquired from the previous job, the crew was to free a prisoner being transferred by maglev bullet train. The schedule and route of the train were given and the crew supplied with gravity-suppressors and mag-boots. It was suggested the best place to hit the train was when it travelled through a mountain pass. The crew could sneak up on the train from the valley below aboard a grav-skiff (with the help of some device that would scramble any surveillance equipment aboard the train),  jump to the roof of the train from the skifff and infiltrate from the top hatches. 

Long distance scans indicated the most likely location for the prisoner to be were four cargo cars in the middle of the train that indicated the presence of lifeforms and live electronic equipment. 

In front of and behind the four cars were troop transports, which very likely held extra guards/Pirate Troopers. 

The crew approaches the train going over 200km/hr! 

Ordo the Space Sloth Hacker was the first onto the top of the train and tried to open the hatch on top of the second cargo car.... and failed... 

Others piled on.... also failing to open it as each took a try - including Zöe - who had a hacking deck... but apparently forgot how to use it... (That's Amanda rolling a 3...) 

more piled onto the train car... Luci taking up an overwatch position at the front of the car... 

Greyn the Burner took up a position at the rear of the car... 

Eventually orzo just tried manually opening it and found it had been unlocked all the time!? 

Zöe dropped in amongst some very stoned and confused ruffians that were in the middle of some sort of card game. The entire car was filled with the pungent smoke of nyborg weed and, with one deep breath, Zöe found herself higher than she'd been since the Space Academy days!? 

Patricia leaned in and tried to blast away one of the ruffians, only for her gun to jam... so she dropped in with her boss to engage the ruffians in close combat. 

Greyn dropped down between cars and opened the door to the adjacent car and found two heavily armoured and armed Pirate Troopers... with a lot of sophisticated electronic equipment... Greyn filled the car with fire, during one of the Troopers severely and setting fire to the electronic equipment! 

Ruby Monday dropped into the car with the others and sliced one of the Ruffians in two! one of the others rushed at Patricia and she bashed his head in with her useless carbine. The other two fired at Zöe, but in a state somewhere between panic and stoned stupor, completely missed... 

π-Well and Luci, firing in through the top hatch took out a third Ruffian and the others rushed the remaining one! 

Two more Pirate Troopers entered the third car and started firing on Greyn.. 

accurately... 

Greyn took a few his and realized his tank or hose had ruptured (AGAIN!) and found himself covered in fuel... near an active open fire... and his main weapon out of action... so before turning into a massive ball of fire himself, he jumped from the train hoping the Gravity Suppressors worked and the crew would be able to circle back and pick him up after retrieving the target.

[Wilhem Scream]

Ordo and Dolly started moving forward to the next car.

SPAY-50-RC and π-Well accelerated the grave skiff to keep up with them. 

Patricia was the first through the door of the next car and called back to the others; "Target Acquired...."

"but we may have a problem here!" Two gigantic, lumbering Enhanced Mutants stood guard... They were terrifyingly HUGE specimens. 

Zöe joined Patricia through the door and faced the Enhanced Mutants. Patricia's Combat Armour deflected most of the Mutant's blows... Zöe was not so well armoured and took a pretty good bash, nearly knocking her out... 

Dolly, Luci, and Captain Harlec all slipped in behind the lumbering beasts through the hatch above and joined in the melee... 

π-Well and Ordo also dropped in. π-Well joined the melee and helped finish off one of the mutants... Ordo set to work opening the side door of the car to load everyone onto the skiff from! 

SPAY-50-RC dropped the skiff to the level of the door and Ruby Monday escaped to it with some loot she'd acquired in the second car. 

Ordo and the prisoner also escaped onto the skiff, just as Pirate Troopers charged into the car! SPAY-50-RC veered away with the skiff, leaving the others behind, but knowing they could all just jump off the train and drop safely into the valley below where they could be retrieved before making for the ship and getting the prisoner off the planet as quick as they could! 

The clients were VERY pleased with the crew's retrieval of the prisoner and made good on their offer to pay 300 Credits for their release. They promised more jobs would be forthcoming! 

The loot turned out to be an Alien Psychic Resonator... which wasn't of use to any of the crew, so they sold it for another 300 Credits!  

With all this money, they purchased two Advanced Technology Hacking Decks, for Zöe and Ordo, and Advanced Tech Picks for Ruby Monday. Some credits were required for upkeep on Patricia's Combat Armour, as Zöe had not succeeded on her Armoury roll before the game. 

Despite damage to his equipment, Greyn turned out to be okay and there were no other injuries! 

I finally set up a campaign page, which I shall endeavour to keep updated with the latest crew stats and backgrounds and links to all the game reports.. You can find it here:

Stargrave - Hope Eternal Campaign

The next game probably won't be until the end of November. In the meantime, I hope to finish up the last few things I need to get Warhammer Quest going again in early November, and will probably be starting the new Five Parsecs From Home campaign in a week or so, after my philosophy midterm and the two midterm portfolios are submitted for my studio classes... 

Blood Bowl League: Match #5 - Gnarly Gobbos versus Sakura Blossom (Gnomes)

I finally got in my fifth game in the Bridge City Blood Bowl League's second season! This game was against Sakura Blossom, the Gnome team, and the ONLY team in the league doing WORSE than me... 

Before the game I hired two more Goblin Linemen - which I knew would effectively mean the Gnomes would get 80,000 gold in bonus petty cash (on top of some 270,000 they were already getting... at that point, I figured, what difference is another 80,000 going to make?!) 

The Gnomes were down one of their Treemen, so the coach used some of that sweet, sweet petty cash to hire Deeproot Strongbranch - the same star player Treeman the Gobbos faced in their game against the Tossers. (Or, as maybe the case, hired some Dryad impersonating Deeproot Strongbranch?) 

Regardless, hearing of Strongbranches potential appearance, Franki Sweatscab and Leon Cankersore started having PTSD flashbacks... 

To start the game the Gnomes kicked off to the Gnarly Gobbos.. 

#22 Jo Green - one of the rookie lineman, playing his first game, keen to show he was a useful addition to the team, scooped up the ball and ran it forward to "Icky" Russ the Gobbos Doom Diver! 

Norg the Troll successfully remembered why he was there and even remember it was NOT to each his fellow teammates... and picked up Russ and lobbed him over the Gnomes front line.

 #37 "Icky" Russ - the Goblin Doom Diver - successfully glided into a near perfect landing and ran it in for the Gobbos first touchdown one the VERY FIRST TURN OF THE GAME!

The crowd went WILD!!! 

(I only had to burn three of my four re-rolls to make this happen!) 

Inspired by the Gobbos amazing play... The gnomes tried to do something similar... The painted Gnome (or maybe it was just the only one not covered in flour from working their side gigs at the Keebler factory...?) caught the ball and ran it up to a Gnome Lineman waiting by the teams Treeman... or... um... Dryad...? 

The Treeman/Dryad threw the Gnome up the field... but lacking the finely crafted wings that "Icky" Russ uses, the poor Gnome came crashing to the ground in a heap. 

To add insult to injury, Franky Sweatscab ran up and fouled the poor fellow when the ref wasn't looking. 

Meanwhile, the Gnarly Gobbos #48, Lil Bopper - The Pogoer - snapped up the ball and went bouncing up the field. 

A swarm of mean little goblins cleared a path for the bouncing maniac. 

Gnomes tried to give chase, but just could NOT catch the little blighter, in fact I think they even made him go faster!?

(I think the painted dwarf tried to throw a block against the Pogoer... and got a push result... which only pushed him further up the field!) 

and the Pogoer bounded into the end zone scoring the Gobbos SECOND Touchdown!? 

Ale sales were definitely up at this point, amongst the celebratory Gobbos fans... as were attempts at pickpocketing (to PAY for all those ale sales!) 

Kicking off to the Gnomes again, once again it was the painted Gnome that received the ball and tried to rush it up to the one of the Gnomes Fox runners... The Gnome lobbed the ball forward, it bounced off the foxes face and landed straight back in the gnomes hands... which... ended the gnomes activation, but despite the failed hand-off, because it ended up not landing on the ground and being caught by a member of the team (who happened to be the one that had attempted the hand-off) a turn-over was not caused!? 

The turn-over was caused when one of the rooted Dryad/"Treemen"tried to pick up a Gnome Lineman and throw them down the field... or.. AT one of the Gobbos, but instead spiked the poor little fellow into the Gnome Beastmaster, knocking them down (and stunning the lineman!) 

A pack of goblins ganged up on the other gnome beast master, knocking them to the ground and then kicking them while they were down until the little fellow had to be carted off to the Gnome dug out to recover for a few drives... 

With the two Dryad/"Treemen" rooted in place, #28 Dagadyr, one of the Gobbos Trained Trolls, wandered away from the line of scrimmage with a rumbly in his tummy and looking for some Gnomes to snack on... 

With a swarm of mean little goblins and a troll bearing down on them, the Painted Gnome changed his plan and retreated from the fox and tried to hand off the ball to a Gnome Thrower... and the EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED - Painted Gnome attempted a hand-off, Gnome Thrower failed to catch the ball, it bounced straight back to the Painted Gnome, who successfully caught the bounce... 

So the Gnome Thrower ran ahead shouting at the Painted Gnome to follow 

(I think the plan here was to get the ball to the Thrower, who would toss the ball up the field to the fox who was totally sitting - like a good boy! - in the open!) 

I think one of the Dryad/"Treemen" tried to throw a block at Norg the Troll and ended up knocking both of them down... which... kind of worked out for them, because, as it turns out, getting knocked down is one way to uproot a rooted Treeman before the end of a drive! Although the Treeman still has to try and stand up, which isn't always the easiest thing for them to do!! 

But the Dryad/"Treeman" knocking themselves over ended their turn... and the goblins and Troll surged forward... 

Norg also got up and walked away from the rooted/fallen trees. The goblins and trolls just smashed their way through the Gnome line and chased down the Painted Gnome, knocking him to the ground and beating him mercilessly. 

Dagadyr the Troll was swatting gnomes clear off the field into the stands (where they were recovered and taken back to their team's dugout! 

and Lil Bopper the Gnarly Gobbos Pogoer, was right there to scoop up the ball... 

and run it in for a THIRD FUCKING TOUCHDOWN!? 

There was rioting in the bleachers... the game had to be put on hold while security beat a few of the goblin fans to death to scare the rest into simmering down for a bit... 

With only a few seconds left in the first half of the game, most of the goblins wanted to retire to the dugout and wait for the riot to settle down... but the coach insisted they go out and kick the ball to the Gnomes again... so the goblins didn't even bother trying to set up a defensive pattern and just kicked off the ball and laughed at the Gnomes try to recover it and bring it forward before the whistle blew ending the first half! 

To start the second half the Gnarly Gobbos again kicked off the ball to the Gnomes and were putting in very little effort at this point... 

 The Gnomes did manage to get their ball handed off to one of the foxes who bounded down the field at great speed and managed to finally score a  TOUCHDOWN for the Gnomes! 

There has not been so much excitement in Sakura Blossom Stadium since the Gnome Guides hired Fartzy the Clown to blow up balloon animals for all the kids in town... 

Kicking the ball back to the Gobbos, the ball was received and rushed up to "Icky" Russ, who was picked up and thrown down the field by Norg the Troll... 

As the Doom Diver tried to glide in for another landing (and another touchdown) a gust of wind carried him off course and straight into a Gnome Lineman. The stout little fellow that cushioned "icky" Russes landing was seriously injured and out for the rest of the game... 

I think Russ was also injured at this point... or he was walloped by the Dryad/"Treeman" as he tried to stand up and was injured bad enough that he'll be missing the next game!? 

Goblins bullying a Gnome Lineman. 

The cherry-picking Painted Gnome ONCE AGAIN ended up in possession of the ball and tried rushing it up the field to pass off to one of the foxes... 

The fox got it and tried to dodge around all the Goblins... only to be bashed into the pitch by Dagadyr the troll - badly injuring the fox and sending them off for the rest of the game. 

The ball was recovered by #4 Leon Cankersore! 

Goblins came chasing after the ball, but a pile of goblins fell back to run defence for the Cankersore. 

Cankersore deeked around the Gnomes and handed the ball off to Lil Bopper the Pogoer... 

... who bounded down the field to score his THIRD TOUCHDOWN, and the Gobbos fourth of the game!!! 

Another riot broke out in the stands as the concession ran out of ale... 

Time in the game was running short as the Gobbos kicked off to the Gnomes once again! 

Fawkzy the Gnarly Gobbos Bomma was out of the field for the first time in the game and saw the fox running with the ball along the opposite side of the field with no goblins nearby to stop it... he though; "now is my time!" and lit the fuze on a bomb to throw and the fox... and promptly dropped it and blew himself up, knocking him out of the rest of the game... 

That fucking bomber has only ever injured players on my OWN TEAM!? 

Leon Cankersore and Lil Bopper gave chase, but the fox dipped, ducked, and dodged around them and SCORED THE GNOMES SECOND TOUCHDOWN - ON THE GNOMES VERY LAST TURN OF THE GAME!!!

The Gnarly Gobbos, having kicked off to start this half had ONE MORE TURN themselves... could they pull off another one-turn touchdown without their soaring star "Icky" Russ!? 

The kicked ball went a little short and Leon Cankersore scooped it up and ran it to #16 S. Maulfart... 

#4 Norg the Trained Troll remembered why he was there... did NOT eat Maulfart... and ROLLED A SIX for his throw - making a SUPERB THROW! 

S. Maulfart successfully landed on his feet (making the first successful completion for a troll on my team this season!) 

and ran that ball in for a FIFTH TOUCHDOWN for the Gnarly Gobbos on the VERY LAST TURN OF THE GAME!? 

Goblin fans went WILD... and they trashed the entire town and razed a few villages nearby!! 

I scored more touchdowns in this one game than the last five games combined!? 

(the saddest thing is, the Gnomes ALSO scored more touchdowns in this game than all five previous games?! Seriously I felt kind of bad for them... they actually had WORSE luck than ME! Like I have an uncanny ability to roll ones at the worst fucking time and to fail attempts to do things multiple times in a row defying all sense of reasonable probability!? fail roll that can only fail on a one... roll a one... use a re-roll... roll another one... But holy fuck, these Gnomes... Every time a Treeman activates they have to roll a d6 and on a one they are "rooted" for the rest for he Drive - with the exception of the one-turn-touchdown drives - there wasn't a SINGLE drive were BOTH Treemen didn't end up rooted!?) 

With this win, the Gnarly Gobbos are no longer in second last place in the league... they are now in 13th place... in a league of 16 teams... They are still in last place in the stunty division, however... and unlikely to budge from there! And still in second last place in the conference (ahead of the Gnomes)... 

This win gained the Gnarly Gobbos a thousand new Dedicated Fans! (oh, they'll lose interest after the next game... and we'll be back to the original thousand hardcore dedicated fans that will NEVER give up on their team!) 

My Doom Diver, "Icky" Russ, is out for a game... but I made enough money I can finally hire the 'Ooligan and have a full team of 16 players! (though I'll only be starting with 15 next game) it means I COULD start with some of the Specialist players in reserve for use later in the game... OR... I can throw all those specialists out in the first turn and try for MAX DAMAGE (to ONE team or the OTHER!?) and know I have spare linemen to replace them for the rest of the game... 

My next game is against the Tossers again... where I'll likely be facing those THREE FUCKING TREEMEN... AGAIN!?