I finally got in my fifth game in the Bridge City Blood Bowl League's second season! This game was against Sakura Blossom, the Gnome team, and the ONLY team in the league doing WORSE than me...
Before the game I hired two more Goblin Linemen - which I knew would effectively mean the Gnomes would get 80,000 gold in bonus petty cash (on top of some 270,000 they were already getting... at that point, I figured, what difference is another 80,000 going to make?!)
The Gnomes were down one of their Treemen, so the coach used some of that sweet, sweet petty cash to hire Deeproot Strongbranch - the same star player Treeman the Gobbos faced in their game against the Tossers. (Or, as maybe the case, hired some Dryad impersonating Deeproot Strongbranch?)
Regardless, hearing of Strongbranches potential appearance, Franki Sweatscab and Leon Cankersore started having PTSD flashbacks...
To start the game the Gnomes kicked off to the Gnarly Gobbos..
#22 Jo Green - one of the rookie lineman, playing his first game, keen to show he was a useful addition to the team, scooped up the ball and ran it forward to "Icky" Russ the Gobbos Doom Diver!
Norg the Troll successfully remembered why he was there and even remember it was NOT to each his fellow teammates... and picked up Russ and lobbed him over the Gnomes front line.
#37 "Icky" Russ - the Goblin Doom Diver - successfully glided into a near perfect landing and ran it in for the Gobbos first touchdown one the VERY FIRST TURN OF THE GAME!
The crowd went WILD!!!
(I only had to burn three of my four re-rolls to make this happen!)
Inspired by the Gobbos amazing play... The gnomes tried to do something similar... The painted Gnome (or maybe it was just the only one not covered in flour from working their side gigs at the Keebler factory...?) caught the ball and ran it up to a Gnome Lineman waiting by the teams Treeman... or... um... Dryad...?
The Treeman/Dryad threw the Gnome up the field... but lacking the finely crafted wings that "Icky" Russ uses, the poor Gnome came crashing to the ground in a heap.
To add insult to injury, Franky Sweatscab ran up and fouled the poor fellow when the ref wasn't looking.
Meanwhile, the Gnarly Gobbos #48, Lil Bopper - The Pogoer - snapped up the ball and went bouncing up the field.
A swarm of mean little goblins cleared a path for the bouncing maniac.
Gnomes tried to give chase, but just could NOT catch the little blighter, in fact I think they even made him go faster!?
(I think the painted dwarf tried to throw a block against the Pogoer... and got a push result... which only pushed him further up the field!)
and the Pogoer bounded into the end zone scoring the Gobbos SECOND Touchdown!?
Ale sales were definitely up at this point, amongst the celebratory Gobbos fans... as were attempts at pickpocketing (to PAY for all those ale sales!)
Kicking off to the Gnomes again, once again it was the painted Gnome that received the ball and tried to rush it up to the one of the Gnomes Fox runners... The Gnome lobbed the ball forward, it bounced off the foxes face and landed straight back in the gnomes hands... which... ended the gnomes activation, but despite the failed hand-off, because it ended up not landing on the ground and being caught by a member of the team (who happened to be the one that had attempted the hand-off) a turn-over was not caused!?
The turn-over was caused when one of the rooted Dryad/"Treemen"tried to pick up a Gnome Lineman and throw them down the field... or.. AT one of the Gobbos, but instead spiked the poor little fellow into the Gnome Beastmaster, knocking them down (and stunning the lineman!)
A pack of goblins ganged up on the other gnome beast master, knocking them to the ground and then kicking them while they were down until the little fellow had to be carted off to the Gnome dug out to recover for a few drives...
With the two Dryad/"Treemen" rooted in place, #28 Dagadyr, one of the Gobbos Trained Trolls, wandered away from the line of scrimmage with a rumbly in his tummy and looking for some Gnomes to snack on...
With a swarm of mean little goblins and a troll bearing down on them, the Painted Gnome changed his plan and retreated from the fox and tried to hand off the ball to a Gnome Thrower... and the EXACT SAME THING HAPPENED - Painted Gnome attempted a hand-off, Gnome Thrower failed to catch the ball, it bounced straight back to the Painted Gnome, who successfully caught the bounce...
So the Gnome Thrower ran ahead shouting at the Painted Gnome to follow
(I think the plan here was to get the ball to the Thrower, who would toss the ball up the field to the fox who was totally sitting - like a good boy! - in the open!)
I think one of the Dryad/"Treemen" tried to throw a block at Norg the Troll and ended up knocking both of them down... which... kind of worked out for them, because, as it turns out, getting knocked down is one way to uproot a rooted Treeman before the end of a drive! Although the Treeman still has to try and stand up, which isn't always the easiest thing for them to do!!
But the Dryad/"Treeman" knocking themselves over ended their turn... and the goblins and Troll surged forward...
Norg also got up and walked away from the rooted/fallen trees. The goblins and trolls just smashed their way through the Gnome line and chased down the Painted Gnome, knocking him to the ground and beating him mercilessly.
Dagadyr the Troll was swatting gnomes clear off the field into the stands (where they were recovered and taken back to their team's dugout!
and Lil Bopper the Gnarly Gobbos Pogoer, was right there to scoop up the ball...
and run it in for a THIRD FUCKING TOUCHDOWN!?
There was rioting in the bleachers... the game had to be put on hold while security beat a few of the goblin fans to death to scare the rest into simmering down for a bit...
With only a few seconds left in the first half of the game, most of the goblins wanted to retire to the dugout and wait for the riot to settle down... but the coach insisted they go out and kick the ball to the Gnomes again... so the goblins didn't even bother trying to set up a defensive pattern and just kicked off the ball and laughed at the Gnomes try to recover it and bring it forward before the whistle blew ending the first half!
To start the second half the Gnarly Gobbos again kicked off the ball to the Gnomes and were putting in very little effort at this point...
The Gnomes did manage to get their ball handed off to one of the foxes who bounded down the field at great speed and managed to finally score a TOUCHDOWN for the Gnomes!
There has not been so much excitement in Sakura Blossom Stadium since the Gnome Guides hired Fartzy the Clown to blow up balloon animals for all the kids in town...
Kicking the ball back to the Gobbos, the ball was received and rushed up to "Icky" Russ, who was picked up and thrown down the field by Norg the Troll...
As the Doom Diver tried to glide in for another landing (and another touchdown) a gust of wind carried him off course and straight into a Gnome Lineman. The stout little fellow that cushioned "icky" Russes landing was seriously injured and out for the rest of the game...
I think Russ was also injured at this point... or he was walloped by the Dryad/"Treeman" as he tried to stand up and was injured bad enough that he'll be missing the next game!?
Goblins bullying a Gnome Lineman.
The cherry-picking Painted Gnome ONCE AGAIN ended up in possession of the ball and tried rushing it up the field to pass off to one of the foxes...
The fox got it and tried to dodge around all the Goblins... only to be bashed into the pitch by Dagadyr the troll - badly injuring the fox and sending them off for the rest of the game.
The ball was recovered by #4 Leon Cankersore!
Goblins came chasing after the ball, but a pile of goblins fell back to run defence for the Cankersore.
Cankersore deeked around the Gnomes and handed the ball off to Lil Bopper the Pogoer...
... who bounded down the field to score his THIRD TOUCHDOWN, and the Gobbos fourth of the game!!!
Another riot broke out in the stands as the concession ran out of ale...
Time in the game was running short as the Gobbos kicked off to the Gnomes once again!
Fawkzy the Gnarly Gobbos Bomma was out of the field for the first time in the game and saw the fox running with the ball along the opposite side of the field with no goblins nearby to stop it... he though; "now is my time!" and lit the fuze on a bomb to throw and the fox... and promptly dropped it and blew himself up, knocking him out of the rest of the game...
That fucking bomber has only ever injured players on my OWN TEAM!?
Leon Cankersore and Lil Bopper gave chase, but the fox dipped, ducked, and dodged around them and SCORED THE GNOMES SECOND TOUCHDOWN - ON THE GNOMES VERY LAST TURN OF THE GAME!!!
The Gnarly Gobbos, having kicked off to start this half had ONE MORE TURN themselves... could they pull off another one-turn touchdown without their soaring star "Icky" Russ!?
The kicked ball went a little short and Leon Cankersore scooped it up and ran it to #16 S. Maulfart...
#4 Norg the Trained Troll remembered why he was there... did NOT eat Maulfart... and ROLLED A SIX for his throw - making a SUPERB THROW!
S. Maulfart successfully landed on his feet (making the first successful completion for a troll on my team this season!)
and ran that ball in for a FIFTH TOUCHDOWN for the Gnarly Gobbos on the VERY LAST TURN OF THE GAME!?
Goblin fans went WILD... and they trashed the entire town and razed a few villages nearby!!
I scored more touchdowns in this one game than the last five games combined!?
(the saddest thing is, the Gnomes ALSO scored more touchdowns in this game than all five previous games?! Seriously I felt kind of bad for them... they actually had WORSE luck than ME! Like I have an uncanny ability to roll ones at the worst fucking time and to fail attempts to do things multiple times in a row defying all sense of reasonable probability!? fail roll that can only fail on a one... roll a one... use a re-roll... roll another one... But holy fuck, these Gnomes... Every time a Treeman activates they have to roll a d6 and on a one they are "rooted" for the rest for he Drive - with the exception of the one-turn-touchdown drives - there wasn't a SINGLE drive were BOTH Treemen didn't end up rooted!?)
With this win, the Gnarly Gobbos are no longer in second last place in the league... they are now in 13th place... in a league of 16 teams... They are still in last place in the stunty division, however... and unlikely to budge from there! And still in second last place in the conference (ahead of the Gnomes)...
This win gained the Gnarly Gobbos a thousand new Dedicated Fans! (oh, they'll lose interest after the next game... and we'll be back to the original thousand hardcore dedicated fans that will NEVER give up on their team!)
My Doom Diver, "Icky" Russ, is out for a game... but I made enough money I can finally hire the 'Ooligan and have a full team of 16 players! (though I'll only be starting with 15 next game) it means I COULD start with some of the Specialist players in reserve for use later in the game... OR... I can throw all those specialists out in the first turn and try for MAX DAMAGE (to ONE team or the OTHER!?) and know I have spare linemen to replace them for the rest of the game...
My next game is against the Tossers again... where I'll likely be facing those THREE FUCKING TREEMEN... AGAIN!?
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