Monday, March 23, 2009

The Battle of Woozle Wood

Due to an unfortunate combination of bad spelling, atrocious grammer, poorly chosen words and even worse translation the Dwarf King Krizden thought King Darrin of Dondunald had referred to his daughter Princess Maeve as being “fat”. Truly there was never a skinnier Dwarf that ever lived. King Krizden immediately demanded an apology. King Darrin not sure what he was supposed to apologize about refused and the Dwarves marched down from the hills to defend the honour of their young princess!

The Dwarves brought with them the wildmen of the north and, as luck would have it, King Darrin’s Brother-in-law Duke Huntingdon just happen to be in town… with his entire mounted field army…?!

The Battle took place around Woozle Wood.


Jarl Timbur – humans, etc.
1x Blade General
4x Blade (Huscarls)
3x Warband (Berserkers)
2x Beast (Wolves)
1x Behemoth (Trolls)

King Krizden – Dwarves
1x Hero General
1x Dragon
8x Blade

King Darrin – More Humans
1x Blade General
2x Blade (Huscarls)
1x Magician (Witch!) (if their side had won she’d have been referred to as a “priestess”…)
1x Shooter
6x Spear

Duke Huntingdon – Still more humans… on horses…
1x Knight General
1x Hero
6x Knights
1x Rider
1x Magician


(Remember: click on the pictures for a bigger version)

Lady Huntingdon (Amanda) and her army of Horsies (girls like horsies…). She's having a good laugh because just as I was about to take the picture she unzipped her jacket and someone said "Alright! going to show us a little cleavage!"... What? It wasn't ME?!!

King Darrin (Darrin) and shi army of sturdy foot.

King Krizden (Christian) and his Dwafish army.

Jarl Timbur (some funny-looking, smelly, half-wit that wandered in off the street…) and his Viking-ish army.

Duke (or Lady) Huntingdons Horse charge down off the hill to meet the Dwarvish invaders! HUZZAH!!

Things are a little more poderish on the southern end of the woods. Darrin deciding (wisely) to stay on the defence was blessed with the ability to only roll fives and sixes for his PIPs… most of which he never used… I on the other hand… moved a little slower…

The Beautiful and charming Lady Huntingdon surveying the battlefield.

Huntingdon’s Horse was plagued with poor rolls all evening. After their initial gallop they sort of tumbled toward the dwarves in slowmotion…

…almost there…

Jarl Timbur’s men slowly making their way toward King Darrin’s lines…

Wolves making their charge around the flank hoping to harass their rear or og for the stronghold.

CRUNCH!! The Horse finally made contact…

…and broke upon the sturdy Dwarven shield wall as water on a wall of stone!

Back and forth they went for some turns. The horse slowly being whittled away.

Bit by bit the Dwarves just took the horse apart. Lord Huntingdon fell – but the horse did not panic

The main force of Jarl Timbur makes contact with King Darrin’s line. It is an inconclusive shoving match.

The wolves try to make their crossing a little further down river where they won’t be menaced by the Spear dispatched to deal with them.

The battle was won on the north end of Woozle Wood where Huntingdon’s Horse was utterly obliterated…

So King Darrin was obliged to appologise and peace returned to the two kingdoms – Though Duke Huntingdon was some peeved at the King for simply giving up the field with minimal loss to his own army after Huntingdon’s force was sacrificed.


Jarl Timbur’s Vikingish Army

King Darrin’s Army
1x Spear

King Krizden’s Dwarves
2x Blade
(Dragon never arrived… after being paid all that gold, too… Revenge will be taken!!)

Duke Huntingdon’s Horse
(before the last of the last deserted the field)
1x Knight General
4x Knights
1x Rider

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